3 A.M here as well you're not alone, unfortunately. I've only slept a couple of hours in the past 3 days, and I'm starting to get really burnt out. I mainly started having insomnia and horrible, disturbing, twisted nightmares every night, about 6 months ago. Also, (this sounds weird) but I'm kinda psyched that someone else experiences the whole not wanting to go to sleep thing. It's hard to really explain, and no one knows what I'm talking about. I used to love sleep. Now I just sit up doing stuff like this (haha) and push and push until ridiculous hours. I always just want it to be the next day. It's almost like I'm scared to sleep, or the process of falling asleep makes me really stressed and anxious, but I can't pinpoint the exact reason. I just can't lay down and close my eyes, no matter how exhausted I am.

I too grew up in a home like that, with a lot of emotional abuse and disapproval, and I'm realizing more and more how much of a toll that's taken on me.. In almost every aspect of my life. I'm sorry you had to go through this as well. It really does set you up for a world of hurt later on. I learned that I can either do whats easy and let the depression and self loathing and low self-esteem take over (which I did for a long time), or I can use what I know now to start healing, which is hard and takes work. I'm not sure if the nightmares and insomnia have anything to do with my childhood, but I related to you so much that I had to post reply! Hope you get that much needed sleep soon