Quote:
Originally Posted by hazn
Like I said in the remainder of my post, there's nothing skillful about exploiting a codependent person. NPD is not a skill, it's a personality disorder. I've read a lot of posts where people act as if narcissists are something special. Let's get back to reality, please. Tickling the ego of a narcissist is sad, just as sad as their own inability to see how damaged they are.
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I can certainly understand the emotion of your reactions here, but being able to look at situations accurately and clinically is not the same thing as tickling anyone's egos.
Also, I would submit that working at debasing the ego of a narcissist (or attempting to) is just as sad a body of effort as may be tickling it (which I don't see how identifying an obvious skill as technically existing is doing), because it's wasted effort on the part of the non. I mean, it might make you feel good, but it doesn't affect the narc, so what's so much better about a behavior that only keeps you in a cycle of negative thoughts? My personal opinion and experience is that there's no better bid for sanity than releasing one's emotions and mental efforts from any rollercoaster rides of being overengaged with narcs. Just say no.
I may be at a different juncture though. I split up with a narc husband what is now about 15 years ago, and although I still wince when I have to hear my always overengaged mother go on about how hard things are for my narc sister (she is an uber-rich, high society girl who owns multiple residences in new york city, in the hamptons, in other locations looked upon by the rich as acceptable parking spots, she has her own fashion line, knows everybody on the circuit, goes to all the best parties, is a perfect looking person having access to better plastic surgery than you've ever seen in hollywood, etc. etc. etc. doesn't it sound so terrible) only because it's hard to watch her badly invest so much emotional energy, but for me, although I can't help but love my sister because love is love and can't be reeled in the way we would like sometimes, having accepted what is possible and what truly isn't I'm released from being hurt anymore.
I think as long as you're still throwing barbs and getting worked up about what narcs are and do, you're probably still caught in the emotional cycle with them. You might want to try getting off the ride and watching from the sidelines. The view is good.
But hey. That's my reality. You have yours and I'm glad it's working for you however well it does. I'm just not clear on what makes you so confident that your reality is simply, "reality"..