The irony of this is always stunning to me.. in that it is so easily lost on people.

More irony: it seems to me there is quite a bit of narcissism involved in believing that one can "enable" a narc's bad behavior (or anyone else's, unless maybe you're dropping alcoholics off at the bar and giving them allowance money). As if! I mean, to talk about how difficult it is for an NPD personality to change even if they want to, and then imagine that somehow our actions are enabling them seem to me to be incompatible ideas. While I am a fan of not rewarding people's bad behavior, that's a rule I have for everybody, whatever I think of them and however I regard them. Do or don't do for the narcs in your life whatever you choose, but trying to effectuate change through those choices seems an ineffective use of mental efforts at best.