Welcome to the community and the forum. There are many on this forum who have gone through, or are going through, what you describe. And what you describe definitely sounds like bipolar. It sounds like maybe you are currently experiencing a mixed episode, which is like the worst of both worlds of depression and mania, and which often manifests with things like you describe-- in fact you described it extremely well: "Filled with energy, happy and thoughts racing. All that, but I at the very same time feel like screaming and crying and cutting..." I'm guessing from your post that you aren't seeing a pdoc or on meds. This disorder is wicked hard to fight without help. As Alone said, I think you'll find you're very well understood here.
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Dx Bipolar II 2014 -- currently in remission
Stay calm, be kind, have hope, love lots, and be well.
"Listen to the deep voice of your soul. Do not be distracted by the voice of your mind." -- Caitlin Matthews[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE]
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