So its been a few weeks since I ask my husband to leave.....the fourth time in 10 months..... I wonder what is wrong with me for not putting my foot down sooner and for taking him back time after time. I think it was out of shear desperation to make this marriage work. he is very much a jekyll and hyde and it was all of the great moments that I was clinging to for dear life. He is calling me every day and still trying to exercise control over the phone.....insisting I "report in" and let him know what I am doing. He is an emotional wreck and very unstable. I am trying to keep the peace and not do anything to set him off or test his limits of what he may be capable of. I called his therapist and briefly told her of my safety concerns. She will allow me to participate in his sessions at his request by phone. I feel the need to tell her what he has done and the behaviors I have seen. As a professional I know she will recognize them as potentially dangerous and hopefully help me cope with his emotional instability.

I am so worn out from all of the drama....I still have two children to take care of and my degree to finish....not to mention a job to find. I have had insomnia and panic attacks before finally going to sleep.....I feel horrible. What I need is my space and time to recover.....he is already asking to come home. It is a nightmare for me right now. I am angry, heartbroken, exhausted, confused, betrayed and alone.....