[quote=scatterbrained04;4879979]Again--trigger warning

So I'm a 30yo smoker, with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and pre-diabetic. Diabetes runs big time in my mom's family (my grandmother and all her 7-8 siblings have it despite not being overweight). The thing is, I'm having a hard time taking any of these health issues seriously because part of me really thinks like, "so how much younger does that mean I may die? I don't want to be here!" So I don't change anything. My mother has been lecturing me about my health when she found out stuff. I know my thinking is messed up, but I just don't know how to get serious about taking care of my health. When I'm doing well, I can take better care of myself somewhat, until depression rolls in and I wish I was dead.
[quote=scatterbrained04;4879979]Again--trigger warning

I deal with this as well. I hate being overweight due to the meds, but just for vanity sake, not for my health and it's for the same reasons as you. I've had two brothers die of heart attacks young (2nd one in Sep). They were diabetic and had high BP (I don't have either...so surprised by that). Sometimes, I wish it was me. (knock on wood). However, I think of my DH and son and know that is not an option. No, you are not alone unfortunately. Hugs