((((((((Trace))))))))),

I am so sorry you have had two big triggers like that, and they "were" big. I can relate to having a cycle after a trigger exactly the way you are discribing. For myself depending on the trigger, I can be down one day or three and I have had the fog too.

Trace, you are still grieving the loss of your father, so sorry you lost his last message like that. But you know what? Perhaps you listening to it as you say was adding to your grief and ptsd challenge. Maybe you can slowly settle down with that and think about it as finally allowing yourself to let that part of his loss go finally, but, I understand how that can take you time to do. I also understand how that alone will need to be grieved in your own way.

As far as work is concerned, it sounds like for those left there will be more stress because they have to make up for the lack of people that covered the work now being added to their work load.

One thing I have noticed about PTSD is that any "change" is hard to deal with. I think that is because of how trauma deeply disturbs the subconscious mind that gets so used to knowing where everything is in our lives. I think that your feeling abandoned about losing your job, even though you knew it was coming, is attached to the way you felt about the loss of your father.

I know that when I experience a cycle, I remind myself to be patient with it. My therapist helped me a lot when he explained it like a wave that comes in, hits me, and slowly receeds.

You have two important things that you need to be patient with until they settle. As hard as it can be, try to take walks. A walk can help to clear the mind, there have been some great men that solved a lot of problems, found solutions that did so because they took walks as part of their routine.

((Gentle caring Hugs)))
OE