I can relate to your feeling. I don't have this with my t (although I bet I would if I had met my t through my university), but I have this with a past teacher. I imagine her walking around campus and I repeatedly think that I should ditch obtaining a psychology degree and pursue a degree in education. I do think that there is some slightly skewed logic in that if I become a teacher, I could be like her in some way. It's bizarre and also very painful to think about her because I know that it most likely won't happen as in the scenarios I play out in my imagination. I completely relate and I feel for you