I've always had an insatiable urge to write. I wrote a lot as a teenager and into young adulthood. My brother read me journal -grrr, but now so many years later, forgivable. Then my ex dug into them one night and started throwing my own most personal thoughts and feeling in my face every time we had a disagreement. It was awful. Actually, he was awful.

So I stopped. I burnt 90% of what I had written for almost 20 years, including story ideas, letters never sent, and the like.

Finally I came up with an idea. I got a leather binder with an extra long leather cord that I would tie in a specific and personally unique knot. That way if ever anyone broke into it, I would at least know.

Then life got busy. I changed. Started losing track of who I was and fell out of the discipline.

Finally I left that very bad man/boy and eventually met a good man. I told him straight away that he was never to read my journal and I would never read his without express permission. Funny thing is, I trust him implicitly. And, honestly, there's nothing I have to write that I wouldn't tell him anyway. Bad thing, I was so happy for so many years, I stopped writing again.

Now, as life is presenting me with a lot more, um, "challenges" (understatement of the decade ), I find myself turning to just basic word files that I keep in a non-descript folder on my PC. I write when I feel like I'm going to burst. When the emotions, frustration, pain, sadness, whatever...gets so bad that I can't think straight, I just let it go. Sometimes it's a letter to a person. Sometimes, a forum post that I think better of posting publicly, but want to save for myself. Sometimes it's is an honest diary of what I did, what the weather is like and so on. Sometimes, I immediately delete what I wrote - that can feel very good, BTW. Just depends.

For years I was afraid to be honest in writing, because of how it could and would be used against me. But I just think better if I literally spell something out. It is cathartic and it is freeing in that sense that once you get whatever is poisoning you out into words, it doesn't feel as toxic any more.

So long as it's not online. Write whatever you're feeling, on paper or in a doc. Then if it's negative and you want to be rid of those emotions, delete it or burn in. If it's something you think you might want to come back to later, save it. Your journal is yours. Until I stopped worrying about what everyone else might think, I was stuck. Finally, I just didn't care anymore.

Just don't draw much attention to it if you really want to keep it private. I have a rule now. If my dog doesn't like you or you read my journal. You. Are. Nothing. To. Me.