I have an issue with fixing my self esteem and it is this:

1. I came from an abused background and now everything I am reading says to fix myself I have to work ten times harder then anybody else to fix these issues.

So I was abused, they go scott free and I have to work harder? Where is the justice in that?

2. I tried this whole positive thing for a month and had the same results socially and the rest. I feel I need a positive to continue me on the path of being positive.

I made plans over Xmas with people and asked other people just to be around me as friends and when that feel through I fell off that horse and hard..what was the point if it changed nothing in the real world?

I know this post is short and snippy to a degree and my heart of hearts knows it is all up to me, which is another thing I hate as as said I did nt cause this why do I get the beating and the work to recover?

Just looking for thoughts and also if anyone has felt similar...thanks.