Day one was from as far back as I can remember, yes, early childhood. I tried therapy for a while and all I learned is , other than being stuck on Effexor xr, it's a load. I can talk for days and years but life is what life is. The only thing that will work on me is if life ever turned positive. But, we all know that won't happen. It's taken 48 years for me to learn it, and realize the work and fightng it and struggling against it was a complete waste. My only shot if I stay around would literally be starting over, hoping to get promoted to fries. But life has told me to hope in one hand and "poop" in the other, and I'll have two hands full of "poop". I'm as tired of life as it has always been of me. Let "god" have his willies watching me struggle. yeah, right. "god". Ha.