Regarding your first question. There is no justice. Reality is what reality is, there is no good or bad. Only we give a meaning. ( Don't be angry about this, it will help you in the long run.
But this is only a problem for you because you're still not happy. Have no fear....you will be;-)

Because of the abbuse you create ways of thinking that are not helping you. This maybe a lack of faith in humans. ( Like I had) . This translates into patterns ( ways you behave) that produce the same outcome, again and again. You have to get new patterns.

I've also had an abusive upbringing. It won't take a long proces if you know what to kook for. Being positive is not enough.

You have to fix a couple of things first.
1) See reality exactly as it is.
2) Create a sollution.

After you have done this ( and I know it works). You will feel at peace and can do anything you set your mind to.

If you like I can make a longer post to help you.