I am sorry for your loss and I too have experienced the anger, guilt and pain that accompanies the loss of a loved one to suicide. My mother killed herself 14 years ago, I was 17 years old. I can't say that it has gotten easier for me, but it has changed because I am now a wife and mother. I have a completely different perspective now and I have a lot more anger inside me now. Her actions have affected every aspect of my life and it is hard to let go of the things she took away from me. If you ever need to talk I am here. My prayers are with you.