I have been wanting to write a post similar to this because I'm really doubting my diagnosis right now. But then I wonder if I am doubting it because the medication has finally made me stable so I feel great and think I don't need it at all.

My psych said everyone goes through a period where they have to wonder about the medicine working and often they end up going off their meds just to see what happens but that its bad for your brain because the medication affects your synapses and chemical balance. So that made me feel like staying on the medication.

Maybe its just that we want to go back to/miss what we feel is normal, our old selves and the way we used to operate. I mean we have been that way for so long and we are more used to the old habits than the new ones so it is difficult not to be conflicted.

One author actually believes we can go off our meds and use bipolar to our advantage once we know how our cycles work. Here's the article on a review of the book:
Bipolar In Order | Psych Central

Anyway that was a long response, but thank you for sharing this. It helps to know I'm not alone in my doubt.