Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaybird57
Like other posters, I was very glad to see that you've found a new therapist and she has been so open and caring in her approach to your therapy. I always thought that your previous therapist was a dud when it came to handle transference; I get it that many therapists aren't well trained in this area and fumble around, but her ineptness was profound! I'm glad you've moved on.
I think it's a great idea to write your former therapist a letter a little further on in your therapy. I've found that when I've reached a place of acceptance and healing of any harm that was done to me that I am in a much better place to express myself articulately and reasonably.
On the issue of your former therapist stating that she was "protecting the confidentiality" of all her clients by referring you on--Bull Hockey! She could have discussed your concerns without revealing anything about whether or not she was treating your co-worker. I saw a therapist years ago who also ended up seeing one of my co-workers. When the co-worker called her and asked for an appointment, my therapist addressed the issue in the very next session. She simply said that someone that worked in the same facility as me had requested an appointment and how did I feel about that. She told me that she was always careful to make appointments that didn't overlap in any way when seeing people from the same place of employment (it was a pretty small town with not a lot of qualified therapists). I worked at a BIG facility so I wouldn't normally have known who the person was, but in fact, I had referred the person  My therapist would NOT have seen the person if it was a problem because I was there first. She would have referred the person on to one of her colleagues. Same with family members who end up contacting her and attempting to make an appointment. I don't get it why your previous therapist didn't deal with the issue by referring the other person on if it was going to be a problem. You are definitely much better off getting away from that situation . . . even though I know it must have been difficult and painful for you. |
Our work is one of the biggest employers in my small town and my ex-T is on the EAP list. So, I'm not the only one who sees her. In fact, another co-worker does but had established the relationship long before my transference so it didn't bother me. I felt my T. should have thought how seeing this other coworker could have affected me. Of course, I now realize she would have told me JUST to change my thoughts about it all.
I didn't talk to my ex-T. about it for her to change it. I wanted help dealing with it. Her reaction shocked me.
New T. (WITHOUT me asking) said she won't see anyone I work with. She understands the transference so much better. In fact, I always wanted ex-T to tell me she's there for me (because my mom wasn't). Because of her actions, I always questioned it and felt very alone in my therapy. New T. has said it in different ways (literally) and just this morning emailed that she is here for me as a partner on my journey and won't leave me. She said she's hesitated saying it that exact way since it was such an issue with ex-T but now they are true for her so she said them. A completely different experience!