Hello all,
I have posted on here before. I have come back to try to explain my situation a bit better and to beg for advice, because I believe if I don't get it my 16.5 year old daughter may end up in serious trouble.

I'm going to pre-empt what I say here by asking anyone kind enough to reply to try and not suggest that this is due to bad parenting, or lack of discipline. I've disciplined and I've done everything I can, and she rails against all and every part of it to the point where I think her view of life is delusional to an extent.

She is an only child. She has always been a glass half empty kind of kid. She has shown warning signs from a young age. She was always oppositional/strong-willed. She would come out of school crying almost every day even at age 5/6. It was like either she loved the drama of it, or she really just thought her life was far worse than it was.

When I say she is and was strong willed I mean to the 9th degree. She hates reading but had to for school. I sat her down one day and said we're going nowhere until you read one chapter. She say there all day. We didn't go out.

Anyway, I could write a novel about this and I'm trying to keep it short. As she got older it got more and more extreme. Her eating is selective, so one time I took her to the pediatrician at the age of 13/14. He saw how much she argued with me and contradicted me and said she had ODD (oppositional defiance disorder)

She is now SO oppositional, and SO uncontrollable that I do not know what to do any more. Basically if I require her to do something, she just refuses. If I DO go hardline on her, she just threatens to do worse, and she does. She escalates and escalates. She goes to school where I work and her and her boyfriend are well known to school staff. I asked her to come straight to me when she is dismissed and has refused, then in the ensuing argument told me she would just rebel even worse. This is her after a phone call on Sunday at 6pm where police caught her in her boyfriend's car and they were comitting a lewd act. They escaped being arrested this time, but I know this is the second time she has done that in a car with him, and once she snuck around to our house to have sex. PLEASE do not tell me I have a 'normal' teen, because that could be any teenager. She also shows no to little remorse, and justifies her behavior by saying kids are doing worse than her. She also seems delusional because she takes NO responsibility for her actions at all. She is bolshy and rude and unmanageable in my own home.

She has been diagnosed with Bipolar and also possible BPD because she has very dysfunctional relationships with peers and adults in authority. She listens to noone. She has been spoken to by many respected people who have told her to change her behavior, but she ignores them all and carries on regardless.

Currently she takes lexapro, one a day, and 4 lamictil.

Please be kind with me. Feel free to ask me questions but please do NOT tell me she is 'normal.' I am close to having a nervous breakdown and need supportive answers.

Thank you in advance to anyone who can help me help her. Does she need therapy? Am I being too lenient or too severe? Why is she not more compliant at least in the immediate aftermath of almost being arrested!?

Help!