Quote:
Originally Posted by gina_re
I hate to sound like a broken record, but do you take any medications and/or see a therapist?
Now that I got that out of the way, I empathize with you. I've had similar jobs where I wake up and just don't even want to bother. What's the point, you hate it and most of them hate you too. Yea, I've had that feeling and it lead to my first inpatient stay after downing a bottle of pills. And lately I've been having that what's the point, everyone hates me just as much as I hate myself buzz in the back of my head. Although I do not have the yearning to die anymore, I tend to ruminate over worthlessness and hopelessness these days, I've had a taste of stability and happiness. And so I keep going despite how miserable I feel. I took a shower today after five days, only because I had to go into work today. Trash is piling up, dishes are piling up, but I don't give a ****, I don't want even wanna take care myself because I don't care anymore. But in time this will subside despite the fact that I can't see it. So I just deal. I know this won't cure your feelings of death, but you're not alone. I've been there. In the meantime try and see a therapist and/or a psychiatrist. It does help even though it takes a few weeks. Your life is worth living even though you don't see it. The fact that you are making this post is a sign that you have even an ounce of wanting to live.
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I started taking Topomax about a week ago. I had been seeing a therapist for about two years, and then I switched to a new person, and then I fired the new person for being an unhelpful idiot who made me feel about ten thousand times worse. I have a psychiatrist and she doesn't care about anything other than the bipolar. She told me to try going to bed earlier to get more sleep, and ignored when I said that it doesn't matter, I just lay there staring at the ceiling until I give up on sleeping.
When I was fired on Oct 23 from the job that I really enjoyed and had been at for just under a year, my ex-bf then started harassing and stalking me again, sending me messages and saying **** like "sucks about your job but no one liked you there anyways so everyone is better off now", etc.
I'm not sure that making this post is a sign of wanting to live. I just... I don't know anymore. I'm tired of the constant fight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ocean Swimmer
Try Religion.
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Thanks, real helpful (please note the sarcasm implied in that sentence). For your information, new person who has never talked to me before, knows nothing about me, my life, my situation or anything else, I am Jewish. I was raised a Conservative Jew, I excelled in Hebrew and religious school from preschool up through graduation. I had my Bat Mitzvah when I was 12 years old, on July 17, 2004. I was confirmed when I was 15 years old, on June 9, 2008. I read Torah on a regular basis and have a reputation at my synagogue and in my community as one of the best Torah readers. I am a teacher in the religious school at my synagogue.
So again. Thank you for your oh-so-helpful smart *** comment. I appreciate it.