i totally understand how you feel... i hate the power imbalance... T does have all the power... i think... but with a good T they dont impress it upon you... unless you force them to...

when you have a good relationship with a T... a trusting relationship... you can find a place where you know they have all the power... but you trust them not to hold it over you...

i have struggled with this issue for so long... but at the end of the day i think we have to just accept that T has this power... whether we like it or not... but it comes down to whether they use it against you or not... a good T will not use it against you...

its something that is hard to live with... really hard... i am so sorry you having a hard time with it... from my own experience, and maybe i am just lucky... it has been a great lesson in trust... to feel so vulnerable... and yet have T make you feel so safe...

i hope you are able to make it through this rough patch and come out the other side with a stronger relationship with your T...

very best wishes Nikki x