Okay so failtastic conclusion to this story, for the curious. I couldn't stand it, emailed my brother, then couldn't stand even waiting for that so emailed my mother my concerns and was very emotional. My brother gently explains to me that my stepfather is out of town and that is why he hasn't come home. Apparently there were conversations about this, about him going out of town for business, and I have no memory of them. My whole reality is apparently distorted as **** and now I look like a nosy fool. I should have taken yagr's advice - word of example-based caution to others in a similar situation. Didn't use self-control and was impulsive, this is what happened.