Im sorry you are going through so much

One thing I do Question is the " Bipolar" ... Reason being . Lamictal works mainly on the depressive end of Bipolar . Lexapro can actually cause Manic episodes.. If shes Bipolar a Mood stabilizer should really be in the mix , there are a few options.

I dont have an grand advice.. I think IP ( inpatient hospital stay) would be very helpful.. At least then the Bipolar can be looked at closer and some meds can be tried. Sounds like she would benefit from both CBT and DBT Therapy.

In the middle of all your struggling with her .. please do .. somehow find time to take care of yourself. When was the last time you did something nice /healthy for yourself?