disparaissant: i would say "please don't leave", but that would be beyond selfish of me, because at the end of the day it is your choice, and if you want to leave you deserve to do so without guilt. i will say that you've been a very helpful and supportive member of PC and i wish you the best in life.

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as for me, i'm having a terrible morning. found out i only lost a pound. i feel like all the times i went hungry this week were for nothing, because i feel that i should have lost 2 or 3 lbs. maybe even 4. but not 1.

however, i was going to eat a hearty breakfast anyway - until my mom pissed me off. she thinks i don't feel as bad as i do. i'm deeply hurt and offended that she doesn't believe me. all the time it has to be about how sick she is, nobody's allowed to take that spotlight away from her of 'sickest person here'. it's like her identity.

i told her i am tired of being her 'rock' and that it is exhausting. maybe something i shouldn't have said in hindsight, but at the time i felt justified. because it's true. it is exhausting, and i'm tired of not getting the same support in return.

now i've resolved not to eat anything today, no breakfast, lunch, or dinner. i will be empty, pure and strong.