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Originally Posted by magicalprince
Well, I think it would be a process of accurately identifying the ways the client either believes they are, or actually is dependent, and slowly encouraging them to face the relevant anxieties and become less dependent. Yes, in such a case, a T would need to be in control of their own feelings, but also able to consciously feel them for the client in the first place. I've seen literature talking about T engaging in a "temporary/partial regression" or something like that. I wish more T's were able to do that. This is really all an issue of balance, self-awareness, self-presence and self-control.
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I cant get past the artificiality of the relationship, its unnatural inorganic origin and development, the asymmetry, the concealing and obfuscation, the secrecy and isolation, the dangerous vulnerability, risk of dependence, and more. I just cant picture the whole thing working itself out in a healthy and helpful way. Would be nice if I could find some Super-T but no idea how to do that?
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Originally Posted by magicalprince
I'm recognizing lately that the more I think about how T's choices affected me, the more it actually continues to affect me and I extend the narrative further and further from its source material. I am powerless to change the outcome at this point.
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I hear you. I have no control at this point over the way the thoughts and feelings and sensations dominate my consciousness. I think partly the key is to be involved in other things.
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Originally Posted by magicalprince
I guess I get waves of trying to be optimistic and then the waves of hurt, grief, despair, longing. But, also it's true that I did come to therapy in a very bad situation. I was still nearly suicidal back then. So it's hard to say for sure how much worse off I am.
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Sorry to hear that. I can relate.
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Originally Posted by magicalprince
Yes... what do you think are some safeguards that could be set in place?
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- I think forced termination should have to go thru some governing body, or supervisor. Client abandonment should never happen without some oversight.
- Require reporting of forced termination so it is on T's record.
- Maybe some means for collecting client feedback.
- Better screening and informed consent up front.
- More useful and detailed ethics codes.
- Some way to make the dyad a triad when things spiral out of control.
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Originally Posted by magicalprince
I personally find it hard/stressful to think of ways that T herself could have acted different, because she was who she was and had the weaknesses she had. I don't think that means she shouldn't be a T but I do really hope she will grow from seeing the mistakes she made with me and use that to do a better job in the future.
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Understood. I feel similarly, and yet this can start to sound like -- I paid her to use me for her own personal growth. And I got traumatized in the process. That sounds a lot like exploitation or abuse.