I don't think your friend sending you that photo was so cute, if it was meant as you are taking it.

I'm sorry your childhood was so painful. One way to undo some of the inclinations it left you with would be to experiment with not jumping to help at every opportunity. Try it. Just try refraining once in awhile. Try saying no occasionally. Doing that might open your eyes to somethings. You may find that nothing horrible happens. Try it the next time this particular friend wants help with something.