I'm so sorry. I'm actually crying for you. Pancreatic cancer is cruel and I'm so sorry that the two of you have to go through this. I am glad that you have hospice and hope that they are as wonderful as most hospice I've worked with have been. My uncle died just over a year ago as a delayed response to trauma from an accident and hospice was so helpful. Like you my aunt is a nurse and aside from some time he spent in the hospice center getting adjusted to very high doses of pain meds she provided all his care to the end they were able to help progress his pain management and how it was delivered as he went from stage to stage. It made a big difference and I'm glad she opted for it; I wasn't sure she would after caring for him for many years with little help.

I am very glad that you had your trip; that will give you special memories forever.

I hope that you keep feeling that you can vent here and you are also welcome to PM me if you need to talk. I tend to be here for the late hours often.