Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Don't feel like a fool. You were understandably concerned.
If you live together and he is not home at night it is fishy.
On the other hand when my ex was away on business trips I often used that time to socialize with friends or relatives as I had no need to go home early. When your mom is gone he might not want to be home. I am not saying it's because you are there but my ex's adult daughter lived with us at the time and neither one of us wanted to be home if the other person wasn't there. We weren't cheating. Just had no interest to be home.
It is not unusual for couples not to rush home if their partner isn't there (unless there are young children home).
Not coming home at night at all is s but weird but who knows
Also I think there is maybe too much meddling in each other lives takes place and bad boundaries. I and my adult daughter are pretty close but she doesn't know if I ever have STD. How do you know?
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Just a bunch of messy dysfunctional crap from my childhood. I didn't understand it all as "dysfunction" while growing up but I was in charge of protecting my mother, making sure she was okay, literally and emotionally. It was my job to protect her from my father and be her therapist and help her make decisions. Etc. She would tell me everything and has always been an over-sharer and a bit inappropriate at times.
I think I still have a subconscious knee-jerk reaction after all these years, because when we were kids, if my mother ever got overwhelmed she would get in her car and leave, leave my brother and I with our drunk abusive disgusting father, and we never knew when she would be back. He was worse to us when she wasn't around.
Lots of reasons all combined but I still get strong impulse reactions when I think she is being threatened by something.