View Single Post
 
Old Jan 21, 2016, 02:16 PM
cashart10's Avatar
cashart10 cashart10 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Oct 2013
Location: KY
Posts: 3,667
Going back to my early 20's, I became very well (afer a long stretch of terrible, long sickness) and decided either I had never really had bipolar or God had healed me from it. Fast forward about 8 years (yes, I was stable minus some mild episodes that I reconized only in hindsight, for that long) to my psychotic break. For a couple of years after my psychotic break, I was too terrified (still am, actually, for the most part) to claim I did not have bipolar disorder. However, every time I start getting better, I start believing I don't really have it. That is bizarre considdering I have believed people could read my mind, believed and responded to the VOICE of God, and believed I was going to give birth to a prophet of sorts, to name a few things. But, especially when I'm manic, I can somehow convince myself that these things are true and that I am in fact chosen by God. When I have taken my medicine sporadically (which I have done rather than stopping entirely), the results have been detrimental.
__________________
*****

Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now

Tori Amos ~ Crucify

Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
Hugs from:
Wanderlust90