I forget the word you all use meaning reading and not posting. However, I have been reading from daughter's puter upstairs and not posting. It's no fun here when a few posters have warned me about my foster to adopt situation. I was severely verbally and emotionally abused today at a meeting with the workers from the local child protection agency,and their contracted agency for support which I foolishly thought was confidential. Now I have had my new daughter for 14 months and have been waiting for the termination of parental rights. Her social worker has been here exactly 2 times now. This child is very difficult, She has attachment disorder, anyone relate? She abuses my dogs, feels that they come between us. Agency wants me to lock up dogs or kill them because she wants to hurt them and feels competition with them for my attention. So I have been sitting here realizing my babies were raised to be with people and to lock them away for any portion of the day is abuse to them so I sit here and wonder if I could euthanize them personally. My little girl is attaching to me and yet the agency says I am a bad placement. They were so mean. What do I say to her when I have promised her to be her forever mom? They want to take her cause she hurts animals, has choked one and I think it's wrong that she behave this way. They want me to kill the dogs or lock them up. Please remember that theses are little guys, no one is over 15 pounds except the golden doodle My husband has who is scared to death of her.

She can't help her jealousy. She is a wounded child. But I who love her and those who make the rules don't care that she wants to be with me 24/7. Her therapist has moved away and I am waiting for opening on 9/11 for new one. Therapist got it. I hate these people, this agency. They are power freaks. I was never like this when I did the same work with older people.
Today I have fantasized about killing self and other attached powers. Very sad really. All I want is to prevent more pain.

I know I have been too busy for you all with my life etc That said, this stinks. I am holding on by a string. Oh man, just speak with the other parents of this sibling group and see what %#@&#! they are throwing. That sucks about honesty and directness. I am one wounded soul. Needing to check out for a while. She needs me every waking moment.