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Old Jan 21, 2016, 06:39 PM
Anonymous200420
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vonmoxie View Post
There have been a couple of periods of time in my life during which I tended to isolate. One was for most of my childhood.. would dodge the school bus and sneak back into my house while my parents were at work, forge their signatures on letters to the school indicating I was home sick.. This would work for up to 2 or 3 months at a time, which is either a credit to my artistry, or a discredit to the school administrations. It did help to instill self-confidence in me for successfully managing the process and acquiring relief I fiercely needed at the time due to both my family life and my school life being abusive and demeaning, and having never experienced a moment of solace. I started socializing more successfully in high school due to meeting people more like me though.. you know, weirdos. Artists, intellectuals, the sexually fluid, etc. People more interested in drawing out their most real and unique purpose than in satisfying the status quo.

It wasn't until a couple of decades later when my husband passed that I went into a deep deep depression, and easily leaned back into that pattern of not wanting to leave the house. Started working mostly from home, only going into the office for meetings which absolutely required me to be there in person, which was only a couple of times a month. Even now, and I've long since left that job, I'm interacting with people far less than I used to, which is now less than I want to. I don't find isolation rewarding, ultimately. The more I might isolate, the more socially awkward I tend to become, creating a downward spiral. For me it's sort of a "use it or lose it" kind of thing.. so these days I force myself. Even if all I do some days is visit the grocery store or the gym, which aren't particularly social beyond "hi/have a good day", at least I've been in the company of other humans. I find that's better, for me; I do think we are as much the product of collective and social intelligence as we are of individual intelligence. No one exists in a vacuum, although it is preferable at times.
Yes we are social intelligence/animals, that is why loneliness is a killer for humans. But what does prevent you from talking to others now?

For me I am a very shy and socially awkward person. I acquired the highest education I can get, have a good job, healthy, and not ugly and most people would say I have a good life in general, yet I am down the road for suicidal thoughts because I don't have a social life. Right now I just need to cry and sleep.
Hugs from:
vonmoxie