Have just been diagnosed by therapist as BPD, after a year of therapy. I'm a 43 year old professional male, and am still kind of processing what the diagnosis means. Through therapy, I've been able to pinpoint the various issues in my life that I struggle with, and they undeniably add up to BPD. In many ways, the diagnosis has kind of turned a "light on" for me in order to see that I've been struggling most of my life with this disorder, I just had no idea what was going on.

The BPD areas I struggle with the most are: relationship interactions (or lack thereof,) not having a solid sense of self/identity beyond the basics, extreme insecurity, emotional instability (changes in mood,) really dark "episodes" where I am fixated and unable to self-sooth (usually lasts a little less than 24 hours), fixating on a "favorite person", the "self-harm" area for me is not tied to cutting or suicidal tendencies but rather more tied to binge eating/extreme dieting, and I am extremely unorganized in my thinking when it comes to money, no ability to save or budget appropriately. I also struggle with sexuality issues as well.

I think that being diagnosed this late in life, means that I've found various ways to actually function despite my BPD. I have been able to hold steady and gainful employment, I have been able to put myself through school, and I would be considered by outsiders as successful. I have somewhat steady friendships but have not been in a romantic relationship in over a decade.

I've not seen anyone else (online, or otherwise) that quite fits my description. Obviously, we're all different and suffer different aspects of all kinds of disorders. For me though, I'd be interested in hearing from people who are also in their 40's or older and would really like to find another male individual who struggles with BPD stuff. Most of my interactions with other BPD folks have been with much younger people and female. I've appreciated their openness and sharing but I don't relate to a lot of their concerns either.

I don't know if it's just the "type" of BPD I have or if there is a correlation to my age/sex or maybe that I've just now been given this diagnosis?

Anyway, forgive me if I'm not using the right terminology or offending anyone in any way. I really am wanting to focus on this and find a way to make the best of this life and fight this disorder.

Any thoughts or opinions or advice is welcomed.

Thank you.