(((((((((more hugs to all who have been betrayed)))))))))))))))
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Originally Posted by BudFox
I cant get past the artificiality of the relationship, its unnatural inorganic origin and development, the asymmetry, the concealing and obfuscation, the secrecy and isolation, the dangerous vulnerability, risk of dependence, and more. I just cant picture the whole thing working itself out in a healthy and helpful way. Would be nice if I could find some Super-T but no idea how to do that?
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Yes I understand. I don't really know the answer right now. I feel more at this point that the principle of a relationship in therapy is always SOME kind of illusion. Not 100%. But, the feelings may be real and mutually created but probably somewhere there is an illusion that is allowing them to take on the form they have taken. Healthy feelings embrace and accept the limitations of the reality. So maybe the test is whether or not a T actively encourages the client to understand and accept the limitations of the therapy as soon as they realize that that may be difficult for the client. When T's gratify, ignore, encourage or invite client's feelings, they definitely do the opposite and damage the client.
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I hear you. I have no control at this point over the way the thoughts and feelings and sensations dominate my consciousness. I think partly the key is to be involved in other things.
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Yes, try to stay grounded as well. That's been a big thing for me. Therapy is not here. If I think about it, it feels like it's here. It feels like I'm back in therapy. But I'm not. There's a computer. And there's four walls. And a chair, and a bed, some decorations, a mirror, a lamp, etc. My T is not here. I cannot talk to her. So, what can I do to interact with this current environment?
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- I think forced termination should have to go thru some governing body, or supervisor. Client abandonment should never happen without some oversight.
- Require reporting of forced termination so it is on T's record.
- Maybe some means for collecting client feedback.
- Better screening and informed consent up front.
- More useful and detailed ethics codes.
- Some way to make the dyad a triad when things spiral out of control.
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these seem like good suggestions.