Yes! It's the strangest thing ever and I cant figure it out myself.. I really think it's me not wanting to go to sleep, but I don't know why. I have to listen to the tv when I sleep, because if it's quiet, my thoughts start running 100 mph and then thoughts turn to worries and then I just start freaking out essentially.

What you said about your dad makes a lot of sense. (By the way, I'm studying psychology, but by no means am an expert!). Fear, especially fear experienced as a child has a way of ingraining itself in your mind and in your behaviors. My dad wasn't physically abusive, but I felt a similar sort of fear when he'd come home, because I didn't want to be the next victim of his relentless put downs, harsh criticism, ridicule and misplaced anger. It was like walking on egg shells. One thing I've learned is that when you experience trauma or abuse over a long period of time, it can also lead to PTSD. And one thing that can happen is your “fight or flight” mode is highly sensitive. So you get the feeling of needing to flee or to protect yourself, or being on high alert, even when there is no threat. I experience this (especially at night) when I suddenly feel this horrible, drowning feeling of intense guilt and fear. Then I have to pull myself out of it by reminding myself that there's nothing I need to be afraid of; I did nothing wrong and I can relax.

The perfectionism bit actually does make sense too. You said you felt that your mom was always micromanaging you, and always breathing down your neck. I'm sure that under that level of pressure, you didn't always live up to her expectations. My dad did this too, but he also would completely ignore your existence- hard to explain. But it was like no matter what anyone does, it's never good enough, never done fast enough, never correct. (Even to this day! I got 110% with extra credit on a paper, and 100% on all my other papers in that class for the semester; called to tell him I got all 100%; his response: Well didn't you get 110% on the first one?) Anyways, point being, you learn that everything you do is a disappointment, yet you still have to constantly try to do the right thing for fear of punishment. If you look at it from that perspective, you worrying about what people will think about your sleep patterns isn't so silly after all

Also, your dream about the cage sounds awesome! My therapist said the same thing about my dreams, which makes sense. For some reason I was under the impression that PTSD dreams were generally about the traumatic experience. Mine are just highly disturbing things, but the theme is always a lack of control. Some are my teeth start becoming loose, and I can't stop wiggling them with my tongue and then they start falling out one by one; Being chased by a murderer with a knife, but can't scream; Being tortured by someone while my mom sat absently off the the side, weeding her garden and doing nothing; the ones that bothered me more were both of my dog being attacked (one by some disturbing creature under the bed covers by my feet screaming and scratching her to death, and I couldn't move or it would find me; the other her having some disease that made her bleed from her orifices, and when I finally cured it, she was out in the yard, then a baboon came out of nowhere and attacked her and ripped her throat out with its teeth). Jeez my dreams always sound majorly messed up when I explain them.. hope you don't have nightmares about my nightmares! Anyways, common theme is that I'm in a situation where I don't have control and/or no one will help me.

I've listened to lullaby's too I like them because they have words that I can concentrate on to avoid the cycling thinking, and they're soothing. Deep sleep music is also good. And the naps! Always tired mid day... by night time wide awake... maybe I should just get a night job! Anyways sorry this post was so ridiculously long. Here's a link that's super interesting, if you care to read It's a little depressing to think about some of the statistics, but it offers some helpful approaches. Take care, and I hope you've gotten some sleep!