Going back to my early 20's, I became very well (afer a long stretch of terrible, long sickness) and decided either I had never really had bipolar or God had healed me from it. Fast forward about 8 years (yes, I was stable minus some mild episodes that I reconized only in hindsight, for that long) to my psychotic break. For a couple of years after my psychotic break, I was too terrified (still am, actually, for the most part) to claim I did not have bipolar disorder. However, every time I start getting better, I start believing I don't really have it. That is bizarre considdering I have believed people could read my mind, believed and responded to the VOICE of God, and believed I was going to give birth to a prophet of sorts, to name a few things. But, especially when I'm manic, I can somehow convince myself that these things are true and that I am in fact chosen by God. When I have taken my medicine sporadically (which I have done rather than stopping entirely), the results have been detrimental.