Just check around this forum. You'll find numerous people who are struggle to accept their own sexuality and own sexual interests. Lol, when I was younger I had a thing for Darci (a doll who was a competitor to Barbie ... and way hotter ). Especially in the United States, we've still got the mentality that sex is something sinful and perverse. In many religious texts, sex is taboo, but kill the heretic! What!?

We censor sexuality on TV and even movies like Fifty Shades of Grey are afraid of male nudity. And yet, cable TV will show gratuitous violence without so much as a blink of an eye. The church lady down the street who has a leather whip, bridle and plenty of oddly shaped accessories is scared to death of talking about her sexuality, but not afraid to talk about bombing Syria? Which one really hurts?

No, your fantasy isn't even unusual. No more than my thing for Darci or the church-going mother down the street having a bi-sexual voyeur thing.