as the title says, i don't know what to do... my mum and the person living downstairs (we live in a flat and we have someone who has a flat under ours) have had a relationship at first and some day decided on a friendship with benefits and now he has a new girlfriend. my mum was diagnosed with depression some day in her life and i am trying everything to make her feel better rn and making her tea and bringing her food and stuff.

But i don't know what to do! i want her to be better again and now i came to a clue that i might have OCD (my aunt has it too so it's possible), i knew that i might have GAD for a long time now but i could never really get diagnosed because i once had a school psychologist but that person laughed at me when i assumed i had social anxiety (today it got even worse) so my trust to mental health people isn't the best.. i am barely able to trust someone anyway... i also know that having OCD is increasing the risk of developing schizophrenia, but that's not even what i worry about, if i do develop it during my transition (ftm trans) or during taking testosterone, then it can be proven that i had gender dysphoria before and that it doesn't have anything to do with schizophrenia.

i am just worrying about when to tell my mum about all this.... in my country there is a new law that if i don't have work 'til September, my mum is going to pay money as like... as if she did something bad... my sister doesn't know at all what's going on with me and keeps on telling me that the stuff i am anxious about is stupid. she's telling me all day that my anxieties are completely stupid and i don't know how much longer i will be able to take this.
(i wasn't allowed to go into the next school year because my marks were bad because of my depression so i had to drop out; my mum knew about all this and didn't do anything but pressuring me to study more which was extremely much stress)

if my mum wants, she can put me into a hospital, idc. i just don't want to be blamed for being like this. just thinking about all this and that my family might know if i get sent to hospital, that they're going to judge me as being useless, attention-seeking or anything else.....

i can't even sleep properly anymore because of my assumed OCD.. it just tells me that i shouldn't sleep (it's not voices) and that sleep is bad. i haven't slept properly in like 5 or so days and i am numb, yet my anxiety's getting worse as well as the intrusive violent and homicidal thoughts and i don't know what to do anymore.

i don't know how much longer i can take this twitching from my anxiety anymore.