I think I know that, yet... I have this irrational and sometimes overwhelming guilt about, I guess,,'not suffering. Or believing that being harmed will somehow atone for personal moral failures and inadequacies. It kicks in hard when I feel bad about my own past, or consider that my past might have damaged me - well, it was nothing compared to this person or that one, in have no right to complain, no right to feel bad, bit I still do...but nothing bad even happened! I only saw it as such because I'm spoiled, entitled, immature, I don't know what real pain is, and I should, etc etc...