hey all, feeling on the verge of a breakdown. Grandma is doing well for 94 but I believe is on the downhill physical decline. I fear the end and welcome it at the same time. I feel on edge 27/7 as well as a roller coaster. Just struggling between my selfishness and my desire for her to have true peace. I don't know what to do with myself. I texted T to meet this week though we usually meet every other week and I shouldn't normally see her until a week from this tuesday. Urg!

sorry to be such a downer...just needed to vent somewhere. not coping very well.