It is very brave of you to share your story on a public forum.The activating
event of being raped at 15 may have triggered earlier memories and shaped your future experiences. There is a strong sense of shame and sexuality each of the events you listed. I think you have to make sense of the rape you experienced at 15 to gain greater clarity of your memories. What I can tell you for sure, that what happened in your past (real or imagined) was not your fault. You were only a child.
There is a movie I would recommend for you. It is called "Towelhead." Its about a teenage girl who was curious about sex. She acted out sexually in her teenage years and intensified her strange fascination with sex when she can across a pornography stash from the kid she was babysitting. Its a dark comedy. I feel that the premise of the movie will illuminate your situation.
Do you have a therapist? What does she say about this? Do you find what she said helpful?