Impala - I think the person "inside" shines through no matter what illness they have. People who are self-absorbed (focused entirely on themselves) seem always to be that way. I have several friends like that and they take tremendous amounts of energy to be with. I call them energy vampires. They would be horrifed to know that everyone they know thinks they are self-absorbed and although they are usually generous with giving gifts and that type of thing it is another story when you are with them - everything is always all about them and how things affect them or inconvenience them. Even if they ask how you are they do not seem to really be listening. Even though I consider these people friends, I would never ask them to help me if I needed it nor would I share my concerns, fears, private self with them because it would not really matter to them and at some level I think they would resent having to consider something other than what they think is important. Thank goodness I have another set of friends who I know would go to the end of the earth for me and back - like your other friend who is ill and disabled. The people who can look outside themselves are truly beautiful. It sounds like your disabled friend is a beautiful person. With respect to your other friend, the self-absorbed one, I think you have to ask yourself can you expend and spare the energy she sucks from you by being so self-absorbed and hurtful to you. Take care.