I'm in a very bad place....my sister is in the hospital again for a suicide attempt....This is the fourth hospitalization in one month.

After being sober for 20 years, she is using meth and drinking again. I live w/her and her partner, and I've been trying to help but I feel useless, helpless, so so depressed. Her partner is a long haul trucker, so is away for much of the simmering anger and hatred spewed at me.

When my sister is on meth, she is violent and angry; her first 3 hospitalizations were for death threats against her partner and I, and smashing up the house with a pickaxe. When she is sober, she is a loving person. She struggles with depression but it is worsened by drug use and drinking. I am scared, and I feel like my whole life is crumbling around me. I worry about where I can go, what to do w/my pets...

I just want to lie down, pull the covers around me, and sleep for years. But I have to deal with this. Am going to call Nami line tonight, try to get some support groups. I feel really heartbroken, defeated and tired.