I suffered with social phobia, for most of my life I looked at the ground, head down terrified to make eye contact.
I hated meeting any one who knew me in the street, I would panic fight or flight response would kick in.
The phobia and cripplingly low self esteem stopped me doing much with my life.
I HATE mother for doing this to me.
Age 40 I had an epiphany, everything became clear. Things had to change. I could not carry on like this any more.
It was kill or cure. Literally, things HAD to change.
So I set myself on a mission.
I brought self help books by the dozen and did as they told me.
I remember my first task. It was to look in the eye, smile, and say hello to the postman.
I did it! I was so pleased with myself.
Gradually things became easier. Took a long time (3 years) of practice , practice, practice.
Now I am OK, nearly normal.
I look the world in the eye now.
F##k what people think of me.
I take Paxil which works well for me.
I am angry very angry with the b##ch that was "mother'
Everything everyone else knew, normal stuff that came naturally to them I've had to teach myself.
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