I think that If i let the judge know certain things it wouldn't turn out well for him. BUT that still Disney help my relationship with my kids. They are ashamed of me, embarrassed by me and my actions, and feel like they should be with their father. ......I feel like I've lost them already and I don't know if I should fight to be in their lives just for them to hate and resent me. .........I've totally fu#!÷= up my life.