This thread isn't what it sounds like.

I've been investigating the whole "sugar is poison" thing, raging over my own addiction, and then researching symptoms of sugar withdrawal. Four weeks to two months of pain, fatigue, and what, for me, would probably be out of control moods doesn't sound worth it to feel disciplined and virtuous.

Then I had a thought - what if sugar is the sole cause of my mental problems? I mean, the few times I've tried to eat more sensibly - which only involved reducing sugar rather than cutting it out completely - I stabilize. Then I either get scared because being stable just feels wrong, or something sets me off and I go running to some kind of junk food to make my feelings shut up.

If depression, anxiety, and mood swings are symptoms not withdrawal, then 1) it takes me less than 12 hours to get withdrawal, and 2) what if this is the holy grail of mood problems? Cut out sugar, completely and permanently, and never be depressed again. It sounds too good to be true - and not worth it from a dietary and psychological standpoint. But maybe I'm just a weak, undisciplined, immature, pitiful addict with no self-respect or capacity to change. I already worked out lots of potential punishments for eating sugar, but I know I could never consistently implement them.

I suppose I don't want to change since I don't see any point to it. Micromanage my diet and punish myself anytime I eat something tasty, become a sanctimonious outsider, all while still being bored with life and having nothing worth doing; or keep the mood swings I pretty much see as my Self. Still bored and frustrated, but at least I have some internal occupation. Besides, food is one of the few things I enjoy in life, so is taking away that pleasure form the sake of "health" worth it at all? I'm all for balance or reduction - I'd love to do that but can't - but that's not enough.