This is definitely a difficult situation to be in. Reading your post brought these thoughts & questions into my mind. They aren't meant to hurt or to judge, just questions that came to my mind when I was reading.

I know when I hear things that I don't want to hear, it feels like abuse, when it is in reality an opposing view.....especially when I am emotional about the situation anyway.

The other major thing that came into my mind is that it seems to me that you could really use the dog situation to your benifit. She can learn that you will love her more if she loves your dogs & that she will definitely loose you completely if she harms them. Everyone has to learn that there are consequenses to their behaviors....it is a part of growing up. It seems to me that by getting rid of your dogs whether locked up, new homes, or put down, then she will be winning & her attachment disorder will only be reinforced & made worse. That doesn't seem like that would be looking out for her best interest?

Jealousy even if it can't be helped, has to be learned how to be controlled. By giving in, there is absolutely no learning there, only reinforcing the bad behavior. In my experiences, I always found that if we truely love someone, sometimes we have to do what is best for them & that isn't giving into the unacceptable behavior.

There is a good feeling when we are needed by someone every waking moment, but in reality that is a stress that will take its tole over even a short time. You say you are already having very bad fantasies & that may be because the situation you are in isn't right. It may not be just your anger at the powers but also your sub-conscious knows it isn't good more than you are able to realize on the outside.

Sometimes we get ourselves into situations where we can't see the forest for the trees. We need to step back & look at the whole picture & what is REALLY happening. From reading what you are saying, it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship for her, even though she loves you & you love her. There are other important things in relationships & if they aren't there also, it can do more harm than good.

Just somethings to think about......knowing I don't know the whole picture....only what I read & these are only questions that came into my mind while reading your post.

I know you will do the right thing for her & for you.....in spite of the powers that be because that is the most important thing of all. It is important however to look at things reasonably rather than with emotion.....I have always found that emotions get in my way of doing the right things sometimes. It is important to look at things clearly but look at the whole picture,

My love & prayers are with you both,
Debbie