I'm sorry that you are having such a hard time, and should be commended for doing. I would dare have to say it depends on how your system is, I guess. What I mean is that some have a host (the body's main personality) with others that handle their jobs (the way it sounds). I reckon the main here then takes care of most of the day's chores.

Then there are those systems that are hostless and everyone does what they do when they do...this is our system. We work best when we are pushed into a direction because we are more reactive then proactive, but we do have a few trail blazers.

I can only speak for our system...

Life is a whole system journey in which we each have a part to play. Our smart ones go to class and do the studies and learn the skills for that subject. We have an other that is a geometrical whiz that can picture the shapes in 4D for geometry, an other that does music, and an other that does lunch. This is all high school though. Everyone that learns their portion at school will have to work side by see with the others in the future as their combined knowledge is applied to a job of employment as needed. A system not in sync with itself is not going to succeed in excess, but might be able to function "good enough" if not at all.

In our system, we can't make an other do something that they don't want too (It can get frustrating at times). So we have like a manifesto....a body theme...goal... that we are all in agreement of in accomplishing for the good of the system, so as a system we do our life. We're not going to please everyone and not everyone is going to want to do it, but for the good of the many....

Having a good system dialogue also helps the flow. We sometimes get into a mindless groove with everyone clicking that we get things done at times.

This is our problem when we tried to pick a career....we can't agree on a subject. Even today everyone wants to do something different. We are job searching and applying everywhere, and whatever happens, that's where we are going. We always had plans of going back to school, but we can't seem to make our minds up there.

I wish I knew what to tell you, but that's something that your system needs to work out on its own as to how to be productive....some systems are just too opposite, but I'm sure with enough therapy, they can be persuaded to function together as a unit.

As to outside help like a life coach, I'd say if the system can take what is directed as a unified system, then the life coach or so won't need to be trained in the ways of DID.... much like going to school.

With all this being said, this is how our system needs to be to be successful. We've been there and done it, but lately we've been a wee bit haphazard, but we are proceeding in that direction again because life demands it. All we can do is the best that we can...we have no choice.