The combination of snow and depression is horrible, reminds me of how alone I am stuck at home alone.

My heart health is an issue and I have plenty of friends caring for me enough to warn me to be careful and not to overdo it shoveling. But of course no one who can actually help me out. I have to shovel so that I can get out of the house and work and take care of myself. I do it in small bits... I started today and hope I'll be cleared out in time to go to work on Tuesday, I'm already taking Monday off.

But I want to tell everyone to F'Off, I'm doing the best I can. I made a joke in bad taste last week at work that my plan was to have a heart attack shoveling and be done with it. I do not want to have a heart attack, so I can only shovel about 5 or 10 minutes at a time. I'm about a quarter way through my driveway hope to maybe do one more session tonight before calling it quits. Tears are freezing to my face while I'm outside.