You're here because people love and care for you and they need you in their lives. It's hard to see it now, but everything happens for a reason. I have definitely had my fair share of my "why do I even bother?" or "what's the point of this?" moments. But winter always turns into spring, you'll get your answers and feel better soon. The hardest part is the pain of waiting. But you have an entire community here to help you, we all understand. Please take care. It gets better.