I have so many diagnoses. And I started this account, choosing this name, with the intention of moving forward. But I'm not getting anywhere because I can't really remember the recent past. I was in therapy for a year and remember 20% of it. How am I supposed to move forward when I can't remember, and don't know where I am? My therapist always said I made progress but I never saw it at all. I can't really remember where I was, so how can I measure how I am now? But apparently it is better because other people at the mental health clinic..my psychiatrist and the intern who worked with me. They said I made great improvements. Why can't I see them?

I don't even know who I am. Well, I know my name. Where I was born. I remember what happened to me prior to 2011. But I feel no sense of identity. Its like living in a shell and not having a point of navigation. There is no north star in my head. I don't know where I'm going. There is no sense of a future, just that fact that I'm struggling every day and my problems just get worse and worse as time goes on. I can't catch a break. Its like problems on top of problems, and now I might be epileptic because I had repeated seizure like symptoms everyday for about 10 days. Out of the blue. I can't keep up with all these problems. Sometimes I just don't know why I'm even here at all. I have and serve no real purpose to humanity.