How about not talking about the illness(es) at all and focus of your relationship needs? Whether that be a need for respect, understanding and compassion?

If he triggers you speak up and tell him. "When you do this, I Feel this, what can we do to adjust it?"

Focusing on the illness makes it a separate entity. Plus there's no excuses for poor behavior in relationships, so it's not a get out of jail free card...
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