I've had much the same situation with variations. I have never felt loved. I am the black sheep of the family. In the hierarchy of the family I am pretty much the bottom rung. I am not saying any of this is true or right. In fact, I know I am better than all of them. I accept my place but I have the truth inside and it keeps me from being brought down.

I live with my primary abuser, who gives with one hand and stabs me with the other. (figuratively) I still get hurt from time to time, but inside I know it is their problem, not mine when they accuse, malign, insult, lie, blame. You can learn to live with it and not let it touch you inside. Getting to know yourself perhaps with therapy or other methods can help a lot.

The biggest thing to remember, is when they do those things, it is THEIR problem, not yours. You don't cause them to throw fits and break things. You don't ask them to hurl insults and critique your personality or life. THEY are acting out their own issues and it has nothing to do with you. You, like me, are the most convenient target for them to aim at.

Be kind to yourself and do what you can to avoid situations that you know will turn out bad. It might help to research online resources about how to handle such situations, maybe self esteem issues too. If you are not in therapy, it might be an options also.