I'm sorry you are in such emotional pain that you feel the only way out is to take your life.
I've been to that door a time or two and while it does seem like the only option at the time, it isn't.
I hope you choose to close that door and pick up the phone and reach out for help instead.
1-800-273-TALK (8255)
You can always revisit that door, but once you've gone through it you can never revisit life again!
Sincerely,
Pfrog!